Exclusive: Simon Dyson Takes The Biscuit Tin Challenge

Simon Dyson – Biscuit Tin Challenge.

"Robert Rock? Pah!"

 

Who would you play in a film?

Batman. The Christian Bale Batman ... Actually, it’s gotta be Bond hasn’t it? First ever blond haired Bond!

What was your first car?

Renault Laguna.

The Beatles or The Stones?

Beatles.

Punk Rock or Classical?

Punk Rock.

Cats or Dogs?

Dogs! I’ve got two, love them!

Funniest person you’ve ever met?

The one that has me in tears the most is Jamie Donaldson. He’s my best pal, but there isn’t a moment that goes by where I’m not in tears with him.

I hope Srixon are paying for this! – Ed

You are Prime minister for a day. What one thing would you change?

Ermmmm…. Ermm…. It would probably be lower tax. I think everyone would be happy with that.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

Working in a bacon factory. (Laughs) Molton Bacon factory. It was horrific. When I was an amateur I did it just to get money together. I did it from October to December and the money was a joke… How good it was! I was trying to get money together to go to South Africa in January to do some practice, and I lasted a week, and you’ll never guess why… I got tendonitis in my wrist. Ironic eh?? I went to see the doctor and he said if you don’t give up the job, you’ll threaten your golf career. So that was that.

What’s your favourite cartoon? – You must have seen a lot recently…

Oh my God, yeah I’m getting sick of them! Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom and that, they’re all rubbish. But from my time, it has to be Road Runner. Absolutely loved it.

In his early days on tour Simon combined golf with archeology

Did they really land on the moon?

Yes. (Long pause) How many people say no to that one? (Laughs) I’m just thinking that if we’re nearly landing on Mars, then the Moon must be and absolute breeze. The only thing is, they reckon that on the original footage, the flag was blowing in the wind, when actually there would never ever be any wind up there. We could talk about it all day…

If you had a time machine, would you go back or forward? And why?

I’d probably go forward to see what was going on with technology because I love technology and gadgets. I would love to see what’s around, and maybe come up with it myself (laughs).

What’s the most frightening experience you’ve had?

I really want to go skydiving, but I’ve never done anything like that. Ermm…. In a good way, it was probably holding my daughter for the first time, thinking: oh my God!!!

Not: “Oh my God my wrist hurts”?

(Laughs) You wouldn’t be surprised would you? No, I’ve never been seriously frightened about anything, but when I held my daughter I was shitting myself. But like I say, in a good way, if that makes any sense.

"Lay, lady layyy..." Known as The Crooning Euros, the irrepressible duet of Dyson & Kapur serenade the Scots

Did you get into trouble at school?

All the time.

Too busy bunking off to play golf?

Not really, just not concentrating. All I wanted to do was to be playing sport. I remember Wednesday afternoons I used to have triple science. That was two hours of science, but luckily my science teacher was a massive golfer. And he use to be writing away on the board and he used to always turn around and say: “How did you play on Saturday Dys?” And then he’d just coming walking round and we would just start talking about golf. All of a sudden 20 minutes would have gone, and as soon as he started walking all my mates would be like “keep him talking!”.

Who’s the biggest gossiper on tour?

I don’t know really… Everyone talk about everyone to be honest (laughs).

Best dressed on tour?

Poults. I think he really is the smartest on tour, it’s not just an easy answer. I also love the new J Lindberg stuff. I played with Matthew Baldwin today at Birkdale and he was wearing all the new season stuff and he just looked so smart.

Fittest on tour?

Danny Willett. I’m fit and strong, but he’s another level. You could throw Martin Kaymer in there too.

And finally, the tightest on Tour?

JD aka. Jamie Donaldson. He wouldn’t give a door a bang.

Related to this aticle:

All Back To Mine with Danny Willett