Ian Poulter drops the f-bomb at British Masters

Ian Poulter could simply take no more. He hasn't won a tournament since the WGC-HSBC in 2012. Then he gets in contention here at The British Masters. Then he fans one off the tee at the par 3 5th hole. During his swing a mobile phone allegedly went off. And so did Poults. He dropped the f-bomb. And immediately regretted it.

Fan: Really funny. Really funny.
Poults: Whattya mean I'm funny?
Fan: You're just funny, y'know, the story. It's funny. You're a funny guy.
Poults: Whattya mean? They way I talk? What?
Fan: It's just, y'know, it's just funny, you know the way you tell the story and everything ...
Poults: Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it?
Fan's friend... Tommy, no, you got it all wrong ...
Poults: Whoa, whoa fella! He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What'd you say? Funny how? What?
Fan: Just you know you're funny.
Poults: You mean, let me understand this ... cuz I ... maybe its me, maybe I'm a little fucked up maybe. I'm funny how, I mean funny, like I'm a clown? I amuse you. I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? Whattya you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?
Fan: I don't know just ... you know how you tell the story. What?
Poults: No, no I don't know. You said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. (yelling now) How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny?
(Long suspenseful pause: is Poults going to reach for his gap-wedge?)
Fan (cracking up): Get the fuck outta here!
(everyone laughs, the tension is gone)
Poults: Ya motherfucker, I almost had him! I almost had him! You stuttering prick here! Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning!!

Anyway, back to the action. Poulter finished the day just a shot off the lead held by Robert Karlsson but was incandescent with rage about the incident.

"Seriously, what are we doing?" Poulter said. "We've allowed them all to take pictures and videos and we tell them to put them on silent and it doesn't work, does it?

"You get distracted on the wrong hole at the wrong time and it's extremely penal and it's really f------ annoying."

While cell phone noises have been an issue for years, a new policy implemented by both the PGA and European Tours that allows fans more freedom when it comes to their phones. Eventually, someone is going to forget to put their phone on silent and you just hope it doesn't happen during Poults' – or god forbid – Monty's back swing.

You wouldn't want to bump into these three down a dark alley... actually, maybe you wouldn't mind that much...

"They don't realize they distract us as much as they do," Poulter added. "Ninety-nine percent of them are on silent and unfortunately there's a couple which are not. You're not expecting it because you think they've got it on silent.

"I'm angry and am going to continue to be angry until I wake up tomorrow morning. Throwing shots away for no reason is really annoying."

Poulter took to Twitter to apologize for his language on Saturday.

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Little bonus: Where Poults got his inspiration...